Germany's 2025 crime data exposes stark gender gap in offenders
If statistics are anything to go by, women should be advised against entering relationships with men. That was the stark assessment from Dirk Peglow, chair of the German Criminal Police Union (Bund Deutscher Kriminalbeamter), during an appearance on heute journal on Monday following the release of the latest crime figures. The numbers, unfortunately, paint a clear picture once again. While overall recorded crimes dropped significantly in 2025—totaling 2025 fewer offenses—the number of reported sexual crimes rose. And here, the pattern is undeniable: the victims are almost always women.
Statistically speaking, the same problem applies to banks, banknotes, and bodies of water. When it comes to serious offenses like armed bank robbery, counterfeiting, or severe water pollution, suspects are 100 percent male. The same goes for amphetamine trafficking, of course. And before anyone misinterprets this: no, there's nothing funny about it. It simply names the problem. The issue is gender.
Fortunately, the hairy monsters calm down after 30
In more than 90 of the crime categories listed in the police statistics, every single suspect last year was male. In 850 categories, men accounted for over 75 percent of suspects. Women made up the majority in just 30 out of roughly 1,000 categories—and even there, the offenses include illegal prostitution and neglect of care or parental duties, two areas men are all too happy to leave to women.
In short: the perpetrator is always a man. The rare exceptions only prove the rule. More precisely, they're almost always young men. After 30, thankfully, these hairy monsters tend to settle down. So if Germany truly wants to tackle crime, it should spend less time speculating about whether offenders carry knives or what nationality they hold—and more time asking what gender they are.
Gender profiling would be the way to go
Investigators could easily drop the already unacceptable practice of racial profiling and instead detain every man in sight. The odds of catching the culprit through gender profiling would be astronomically higher. After all, men are the criminals.
Operetta fans have known this for over a century. While folk schlagers were usually sung by women, the lyrics were penned by one of these very criminals—which is why they include the utterly baseless line, "but they're lovable all the same."
Faced with such facts, every right-wing populist—so eager to demonize "dangerous" groups of offenders—should really become a feminist. But then again, even among the far right, men are in the majority.
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